Ya gotta love Sarah Jessica Parker. Not only is she the consumate fashionista, she is also too often a much better actress than the roles she chooses.
Case in point: State and Main.
All the more reason to wince at her latest choice in le chapeau, which she wore while wow'ing crowds down under.
Not that I'm any style maven. In fact, I've made a few fashion missteps myself. (Full disclosure: I've been known to wear shoes from different pairs. That's what happens when all your shoes are black flats.)
That said, I would counsel Ms. Parker thusly:
Dear Ms. Parker,
(Can I call you Sarah Jessica? How about SJ? …oh, never mind! How 'bout I just call you a cab?)
You know you're wearing the wrong hat when:
1. You can be mistaken for the Wicked Witch of the West.
2. You've been invited to tea by Johnny Depp — and he's dressed as the Mad Hatter.
3. Your neck starts to hurt because of it.
4. Walls jump up out of nowhere, and smack you on the nose.
5. People on the street yell out: "Gaga! Can I have your autograph?"
6. Bees mistake it for their hive.
7. Even the posh crush attending Aston is giggling and pointing.
8. It is drawing more attention to you than your latest film.
9. Your kids won't hug you because they are scared of you.
10. Your doorman gently reminds you that Halloween is over.
(c) 2011 Josie Brown. All Rights Reserved
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK