Love this version of Andree Belle singing “Go Go Gadget Heart”…

 

Soft Glow of Electric Sex
Here's one of my fave songtresses and her band, Andree Belle,  doing their thing!  

The song is "Go Go Gadget Heart, which you'll find on her digital album, "The Soft Glow of Electric Sex." Obviously the little techie had his effect on her! Only $7? Such a steal!

In fact, I featured this song in my novel,The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing. 

You can read the excerpt, below.

Josie


 

 

Book 2: The Housewife Assassin's Guide To Gracious Killing – Excerpt


Guide-to-Gracious-Killing-Final
Only $3.99

 Signal Press / In bookstores now!

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Donna and Jack are in the kind of hot mess that can cause an  international incident:

A nuclear arms summit, hosted by a politically-connected American billionaire industrialist, provides the perfect opportunity for a rogue operative to assassinate of the newly-elected Russian president on US soil. Acme operative Donna Stone's mission:

Seek and exterminate the shooter, before all hell–and World War III–break loose.

Not to mention what happens when Donna files for divorce.

Throw in a couple killer play dates and a few naughty neighbors, you've got a whole lot of fun.

 

Chapter 1: Breaking Bad Hostessing Habits

Every woman wants to be the perfect hostess, and frets over her inadequacies when it comes to the gracious art of entertaining.  Pshaw! A little forethought and a few hours of  planning makes it easy as cherry pie!

There is, however, one ironclad rule that every hostess must follow: make all your guests wish they’d never have to leave.

Especially in a coffin. With a bullet lodged in their heads.

 

Harry Happy Hour“You’re quite a saucy minx!” Prince Harry’s  ale-slurred come-on can barely be heard over the techno-vibe emanating from a starship-worthy console of  the Ivy Lounge rooftop’s head-bobbing deejay.  “What say you give me a peek as to where that tattoo ends?”

His head is cocked downward, as if it might give him the ex-ray vision he’ll need in order to see the rattle on the faux-tatt’ed snake drawn from my belly, which ends somewhere  in the nether regions that lay under my thong bikini.

“You’re a cheeky sod. I do have a face, you know.” I snap my fingers in front of his nose in order to draw his eyes northward.

I’ve succeeded, sort of.  But come on, already: the diplomacy born and bred into the Prince of Wales can’t beat two millennia of innate urges and four pints of Guinness.

His eyes linger below my neck, albeit above my abdomen.

When, finally, our eyes meet, I lean in and whisper, “You show me yours, and I’ll show you mine.”

I’m lying, even if he doesn’t know it—yet.

His outright laugh is accompanied with a shake of his head, and a tug at the waistline of his briefs. “Nothing under these trollies, I’m afraid. Sorry to disappoint.”

I finger his briefs longingly, then sigh. “I’m sure you’ll make it up to me somehow.”

His smile is his vow not to disappoint.

God save the queen…

It’s no secret the prince has been stateside with his Royal Air Force unit, learning the latest tricks and treats of the AH-64D Apache helicopter: his vehicle of choice for his upcoming tour of duty in Afghanistan. Tomorrow the soldiers complete their training and head home. To celebrate, the soldiers are here, in San Diego, which is just a couple of hours west of their training base, the Naval Air Facility at El Centro.

Seems some chatter, intercepted by MI-6, has led the Cousins to deduce that the prince is the latest target of “the Leprechaun,” a notorious assassin affiliated with the Irish terrorist cell known as 32CSM. If the Leprechaun succeeds in picking off the spare to the throne, then once again the always thin strand of peace between Ireland and Great Britain will be ripped to shreds.

If it happens on our side of the pond, the U.S. will have mud on its face, not to mention the bluest of blood on its hands.

So yep, I have to stop the Leprechaun before he gets lucky.

My employer, the freelance black ops agency known in the field as Acme Corporation, paid big bucks to the club owners so that I could be up close and personal with the prince. My goal is not to shag, let alone snag, Harry the Hottie. It’s to save his adorable hide from a possible assassination attempt.

The prince leans in, close enough to ask in a seductive albeit ale-sodden growl, “Want me to sign your bikini?”

I look down between my breasts. “Oops, forgot my pen. But you seem to be carrying one, in your pants pocket. Or maybe you’re just happy to see me.”

He’s laughing so hard his last gulp of Guinness goes down the wrong way.

“Prince Charming has a one-track mind.” Jack Craig’s snarl comes in loud and clear through the tiny microphone in my ear. As the team leader for this Acme Industries mission, he is close by, but far enough away that no potential assassin can spot him.

Trust me, there is an assassin lurking nearby.

Jack is also my main squeeze, which is why he’s growling about my having to play the coquette while under deep cover (in this bikini, I’m talking figuratively if not literally) as one of the nightclub’s VIP bottle girls, and more specifically, the world’s most eligible prince ’s pick-up du jour.

Needless to say, the club’s real bottle girls are pea green with envy. They can’t figure out how this newbie became Cinderella of this Century.

If I told them that my aim and my 1st degree black belt status had something to do with it, would they believe me? Probably not. All they see is that I’m just this side of Cougarville, which means Harry is less discriminating than they had hoped.

For once I’m glad Jack is not here with us, in the cordoned-off VIP section. One involuntary muscle flex and prince’s all too obvious brawny goon squad—three of his Royal Air Force mates—would be on top of him, like suds on ale. 

At MI-6’s behest, we’ve kept that a secret from Harry, for now anyway. Which, I’m sure, is why he feels so cocksure. This mission wouldn’t have been so hard if the prince weren’t so insistent about partying “like an ordinary surfer bloke,” is how he so preciously puts it. 

Thus far the natives have been awed as much by his title as his regular dude  personality.

Just as the deejay ratchets up the hip hop club mix, six drunken sorority sisters stroll our way. One of the girls, a Kate Middleton lookalike, pierces me with a jealous glare.

I stare back and smile, as if to say Take the hint. Get lost.

Her eyes shift from me to one of Harry’s RAF buds. She waves coyly at him, and he’s smitten. Smirking back, he nods her over. She squeals and grabs the hand of one of her girlfriends.

Harry's haremIn no time at all, she and her besties have jumped the red velvet rope. They toss themselves onto the prince’s entourage, who don’t seem to be fighting them off too hard.

In fact, they’re snapping their fingers at me with drink orders for their new arm charms.

“Not good.” Jack’s warning in my ear is just loud enough for me to here.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” I mutter back.

“How about this?” Jack is now shouting into my earpiece. “You’ve lost Prince Harry.”

He’s right.

The prince seems captivated by a petite, busty blond beauty. Even in heels, she barely reaches his chest. She had pulled him out onto the dance floor for a throbbing sex-drenched hip grinder, Andree Belle’s Go Go Gadget Heart.

The strobe lights and smoke machine make it hard to follow them in the crowd. Then I see them, against one wall. The buxom little tart has draped her arms around his shoulders and hugs him close, as if she’ll never let him go.

Apparently too close. I shove my way through the crowd until I’m close enough to I hear Harry’s woozy cry: “Blimey, you’re no bird! You’ve got a wanker!”

Before I can pull him away, the prince is pricked on the neck with something  his partner has pulled from her cleavage. Harry’s groan is loud—

Then the smell of smoke, and the lights go out—

But not before the last strobe catches the triumphant look on his partner’s face.

 “Oh my God, Jack! The woman with Harry—she’s—not a she! She’s—”

“I know, I saw it, too! The Leprechaun!”

Proof it pays to hit the M.A.C. counter before a night on the town.

 And to hang out where the lights are always low.

Everyone is screaming and shoving their way to the exits, leaving me room to follow the Leprechaun, who was shoving Harry in the opposite direction, up against a wall.

“It’s too dark to see where they went. Does anything show up on the club’s security cams?”

“I’m looking now. In the meantime, check the wall for a hidden pocket door. The schematic of this club shows a few of them on every level. I’m sure the Leprechaun had his exit scoped out in advance.”

While he scans the feeds from the security cameras, I skim the walls with my hands. Finally I find it: a tiny catch, waist high.

I pull it open it just in time to see the Leprechaun heaving Harry down a long corridor.

He may not be used to running in heels, but I am. If only I wasn’t running in a bikini, too.

“Too many wobbly bits,” I mutter under my breath.

It is inappropriate for Jack to be laughing now, but he can’t help it. “Just two. And they’re a sight to behold. Prince Charming will be upset he slept through it.”

The thought of Harry in the French-manicured hands of an assassin who can start the United Kingdom and Ireland down another bloody path of un-neighborly relations has me picking up my pace. Unlike the Leprechaun, I’m smart enough to ditch my high heels—

But I’m still not fast enough to reach them before the Leprechaun rolls him into the backseat of a dark BMW and screeches off.

I can hear Jack slapping the wall with his fist. “Aw, damn! We lost them!”

“Nope, I slipped a GPS tracker in the prince’s trollies.”

“You did what?…In his—what?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I didn’t peek. I’ll meet you around the corner.”

What’s a little white lie between fake husband and wife?

Before he can say another word, I snap off my earpiece and run down the block.

(c) 2012 Josie Brown. All rights reserved. This excerpt may not be resold or redistributed without prior written permission from Josie Brown or Signal Press Books (info@signaleditorial.com).

_______________________

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Digital eBook 

 

 

#MadMen creator Matthew Weiner discusses the latest episode (#9, “The Better Half”)

MadMenSeason6__Poster
I love this illustration for Mad Men. It's the type of illustration you'd find for ads from that mid-60s era.

Notice that Don Draper is both coming and going. I like that the artist has captured his duplicity, his wanderlust, and the fact that there are other Don Drapers out there. 

There are other Don Drapers inside of Don Draper.

I also hate the fact that this is the last season of Mad Men. I'm sure the show's actors realize it's a career high for them, thanks to all the elements that make a show great: the direction, the period detail via set design and costumes, and of course the writing. Writer-Producer Matthew Weiner has created an ensemble of characters who faults and foibles ring true as the catapault through life in an era some of us remember all too nostalgically. Six years ago, as watched the first episode with my son, I remember him commenting, “Wow, the men were really cruel to the women who worked with them.”

Yes, to a great extent, barbaric.

Truly, it set the tone of what was to come.

We love these characters,and we also hate them.

In other words, we feel for them. 

It's why it's great television, and why it's sublime storytelling.

Check out the show's creator, Matthew Weiner, discussing the latest episode (9, “The Better Half”).

— Josie

 


HA-RSG-Final-V2
To celebrate the launch of 
The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide
I'm giving away a $100 gift card
 to the bookstore of your choice!

Click here for details…

 

 

 

 


Love this opening number, in SMASH

Smash-1-02-katharine-mcphee-channels-marilyn-monroe-performs-original-song

I know it's de riguer to diss SMASH this season, but I've got to tell you, I loved the opening musical number on SMASH (week of March 3, 2013).

Tell me if you don't agree that it was a blast. It's called "Public Relations."

Yeah, I can picture this on Broadway…

–Josie




 

Nashville’s “Pour Me Something Stronger” has lyrics that hit a high note.

I unabashedly love the ABC TV show, Nashville.

I love that the personalities are big, voices are great, the songs have heart, and the writing has soul.

An example: in the latest episode (February 27, 2013) pop tart Juliette Barnes (Hayden Panettiere) throws a suprise birthday party for her lead guitarist, Deacon Claybourne (Charles Eston, and  former lover of her rival, Rayna Jaymes, played by Connie Britton).

It's to be Nashville's party of the year.

It's also an emotional make-good: on a party her mother was to throw for Juliette's nineth birthday, but was too coked up to do so. Her mother's relapse into addiction at the party is a bittersweet reminder to Juliette that all of life's events is the equivialent to a game of Chutes and Ladders. 

No matter who you are, or how far you've come, you can always slip back into failure.

True friends and caring family prop you up again.

The video above is of Connie Britton singing a song that is all about that.

It all starts with the writing,

— Josie

 

PS: In regard to true love and family, I've just released Book 3, the latest in my Totlandia series. But you'll want to try Book 1 first. And lucky you! It's now priced at 99 cents!

Here's a synopsis:

 

Totlandia5_2

Friendship. Lies. Seduction. Betrayal. 
Welcome to Totlandia.

Book 1: The Onesies/Fall

Coliloquy Books / 978-0-9740214-0-9 / eBook

Buy it now…

Amazon.com (eBook)

Amazon.com (App)

BN.com (eBook)

 BN.com (App)

Read a synopsis here…

The Pacific
Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children’s playgroup in all
of San Francisco. For the city’s ultra-competitive elite, the club’s ten annual
spots are the ultimate parenting prize.

In a world of power and prestige, no one has more the club’s founder, Bettina
Connaught Cross. And as every mom in Pacific
Heights knows, you simply
cannot cross her
.

Bettina adheres
to strict membership rules: Moms only. No single parents or working mothers
allowed. Membership is an arduous commitment. And there’s no room in the club
for scandal, bad behavior, or imperfection…from tots or their moms.

Not everyone
is PHM&TC
material, which is why this year the admissions process for the Pacific Heights
Moms & Tots Club is more rigorous than ever, pitting prospective members
against each other to prove their mettle.

But four of
the six candidates vying for the remaining four slots have secrets that would
knock them out of the running. Jade is a former stripper and porn actress, who
has been absent for most of her son’s life. Jillian’s husband cleaned out their
joint accounts and left her for his pregnant assistant. Ally never even had a
husband—just a sperm donor—and she has a high-ranking corporate job. And Lorna
fears that her son may have special needs… just the excuse her sister-in-law,
Bettina, needs to deny her entry to the club.

Can these
hopeful moms keep up appearances long enough to outlast the competition? Or
will their chances—and their private lives—go up in flames?

Totlandia is a five-book series that follows our heroines starting in “The
Onesies,” their inaugural year in the club. Upcoming books—to be released in
four episodes each year—will follow subsequent years: the Twosies, Threesies,
Foursies, and Fivesies.

Time to play “Revenge”…

 

Revenge
Which character best exemplifies your ability to survive in the Hamptons, and why?

All comments, emailed to me at MailFromJosie@gmail.com prior to midnight PT on Wednesday March  29, 2012, will be entered in my contest for a copy of my book, THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK.

Okay, here are your choices…and good luck!

— Josie

 

HAH Hanging Man V2

Author,
The Housewife Asassin's Handbook

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1. Fake Emily (real Amanda)
I never forget a slight. Especially one that put me in detention.

2. Fake Amanda (real Emily)
I'm loyal, no matter how many lies you tell me.

3. Victoria Grayson
I'll save myself, no matter how many lies it takes.

4. Charlotte Grayson
When the shite flies, I look for a crutch: drinks, drugs, what ev….But I'm cute and young, so I'll recover!

5. Nolan Ross
I'm snarky, but I'm also smart and loyal, so everyone cuts me some slack.

6. Daniel Grayson
I'm clueless, but I'm also rich and cute, so everyone cuts me some slack.

7. Conrad Grayson
I'm a douche, but I'm also rich and hold all the purse strings, so everyone cuts me some slack.

8. Jack Porter
I'm in love with some little girl I haven't seen since before puberty, but I'm the only guy in this show with cojones, so everyone cuts me some slack.

9. Satoshi Takeda
I'm the only one in this show with money, brains, and real tae kwon do skills. So I must be on the wrong show…

It’s that time of month. (Unless you’re on TV.)

  Tampons with eyes

We've crossed the bridge into the 21st century–unless you're an actress in a tampon commercial.

On American TV, we're still squeamish when talking about menstruation.

That is, a woman's period.

Her "little visitor."

Being "on the rag," as it were.

As Adweek points out, it's ironic that a product created in the 1930s — and on television, FINALLY, in 1973 — is still cloaked in AdLandia shorthand.

Forget code words. White short shorts or short skirts was — is — GirlSpeak for "it's okay to use tampons instead of pads, without worrying about bleedthrough."

To paraphrase, Betty Friedan: it's the feminine hygiene mystique.

The FCC has what is calls  "the seven dirty words" which are forbidden to say on TV. I'm too much of a lady to say them here, but you can guess what they are:

Has anyone noticed that dick and penis isn't on the list?

Which is possibly why, yes: those words flow trippingly through the boob tube.

At least, on basic cable, which is known for its potty mouth (DEADWOOD!!! I MISS YOU!!!!

Some of these words have already slipped into major broadcast network viewing as well.

So why not vagina? Why do television hostesses fudge it by saying "va-jay-jay? They should follow Lissa Rankin's advice and say it loud, say it proud.

Lubricant ads show couples in bed. Condom ads have now broken the television barrier, too. Turn on a football game and you'll overdose on Viagra and Cialis ads. (Puh-leeeez: get that couple out of their his-and-hers outdoor clawfoot tubs!)

The 1st Amendment makes strange bedfellows. A disparate group has coallesced around the goal of ending television censorship . It includes the Pacifica Foundation on the left, and the Cato Institute (a Libertarian think tank) on the right.

In fact, on July 13, 2010 in New York, FCC regulations regarding "fleeting" use of expletives were ruled unconstitutionally vague by a three-judge panel of the U.S. 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals,  which ruled that they violated the First Amendment in light of their possible effects regarding free speech.

Maybe we're finally crossing that bridge into the 21 century.

So that we get our celebrity fix for the day, click onto the video below. At the time (1985) , it was considered groundbreaking because she actually said the "P" word.

Several times, in fact!

Recognize the actress in this Tampax ad? When it comes to their careers, everyone's starts somewhere —

Period.

*Picture: The eyes have it! Tampons–that don't leak–are a girl's best friend.

Ewwww yuck is a fact of life,

— Josie

 

HAH Hanging Man V2
 Read an excerpt of
 THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK 
 Today, on

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Check out this video of me discussing my book, The Baby Planner.

Baby Planner 600w I can talk non-stop about my book The Baby Planner. I so enjoyed writing about my heroine, Katie Johnson. We all excel in at least one way, but we also have our weak spots. Katie's leaves her vulnerable in the one area she thinks she will always be blessed: family. 

Little does she know….

But hey, I don't want to give it way. Listen to what I have to say about it here,

— Josie

Read an excerpt…

 


 

i 

 

THE BABY PLANNER

Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books / In stores April 5, 2011

ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY:

From Amazon / Amazon Kindle

From Barnes & Noble / Barnes & Noble Nook

From Books a Million

From Books Inc.

From Borders

From Your Local Independent Bookstore

From Powell's

Signed copies from Liberty Bay Books

 

I’ll say it, if no one else will: THE OFFICE deserves the Emmy for Best Comedy.

The-office

Tina Fey's 30 Rock has been queen of the TV hill for quite some time. Maybe it's me, but I just don't get it. The show's over-the-top farce leaves me cold. Sure, the acting is great, but the laugh lines seem forced.

The Office, on the other hand, is chockful of characters everyone has encountered in real life: the office Nazi (Dwight); the superior prude (Angela); the idiot (Kevin); the airhead (Kelly)…

And then there's Michael Scott, a.k.a. Steve Carrell: an inappropriate boss who thinks his office coworkers are his family, because he truly doesn't have a life outside the office.

At first his character was written to be crass. Then the writers got wise and infused his obnoxious behavior with an underlying pathos. We know that guy: he tries so hard to win us over that we are repelled by him.

In any regard, we feel his pain.

We'll miss in him the (many, I hope) coming seasons.

Many of regulars are also its writers:  B. J. Novak was cast as temp Ryan HowardPaul Lieberstein is human resources director Toby Flenderson; Mindy Kaling is the shopaholic airhead  Kelly Kapoor. The infuse every character with emotional layers that go beyond the typical archtypes. 

And that is why I think The Office should get its Emmy this year.

Ah, if only I were queen of the TV universe…but no, Tina Fey has that throne and sceptor.

–Josie

HAH Hanging Man V2

THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex. 
And some handy household tips.

Signal Press – Digital eBook 

ORDER NOW,  from

Amazon.com

BarnesAndNoble.com

Also in in the Apple iBookstore!

Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you! 

I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!

CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES…


Marilyn Monroe’s little white dress…

Marilyn
They auctioned off Marilyn Monroe's iconic white halter dress from The Seven Year Itch. You remember the one: as she stood over a subway grate in front of the Trans-Lux Theater, it billowed up around her thighs. The way it was written into the movie, the object was to keep her cool–

Or was it to make every guy watching her get hot under the collar?

That was the case with her husband at the time: Joe DiMaggio. Afterward they had a shouting match in the theater lobby. She filed for divorce soon afterward.

The dress went for $4.5 million. It was sold by actress Debbie Reynolds, who, besides starring in several Hollywood classics herself (Tammy and the Bachelor, The Unsinkable Molly Brown) has a true appreciation for Hollywood lore. For years, much of her collection was kept at her hotel in Las Vegas, where she performed. A bad real estate investment forced her to sell off various pieces. This time around she also sold Monroe's red sequined dress from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (it went for $1.2 million, albeit it was projected to bring $200,000 – $300,000), and another of my favorites, Audrey Hepburn's Ascot dress from My Fair Lady, which sold for $3.7 million.

Other pieces sold by the auction house, Profiles in History included:

Judy Garland's blue cotton dress used in test shots for The Wizard of Oz, $910,000 (estimate: $60,000-$80,000)

Grace Kelly's rose crepe outfit from To Catch a Thief: $450,000 (estimate: $30,000-$50,000);

Marlon Brando's elaborate coronation costume from Napoleon Bonaparte: $60,000 (estimate: $60,000-$80,000);

Claude Rains' ivory military suit from Casablanca: $55,000 (estimate: $12,000-$15,000);

ElizabethTaylor's brown period dress from Raintree County: $10,000 (estimate: $10,000-$15,000);

Madonna's black evening gown and shoes from Evita: $22,500 (estimate: $4,000-$6,000);

Mike Myers' swinging '60s  suit from "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me: $11,000 (estimate: $6,000-$8,000); and

– A high-school graduation dress of Natalie Wood's: $4,250 (estimate: $2,000-$3,000).

I had the pleasure of interviewing Ms. Reynolds a few years back. In fact, it was my very first celebrity interview. I remember her as gracious, witty, and vulnerable: she is every inch a star, but a sweet human being as well. I could have hung with her all weekend, if she'd have let me. Seriously, she is that much fun. 

And so candid. She answered all my questions, even the sticky ones. If I find that interview, I'll be sure to post it here.

As I was leaving I mentioned that my favorite of all movies was one of hers: Singin' in the Rain. "I'll sign the DVD, if you have it," she offered.

Stupid, stupid me! Why didn't I think to bring it? I never made that mistake again!

Oh, well. In hindsight, I should have asked her if I could try on Marilyn's dress, just once!

Want to see what all the fuss is about? Just watch the video clip below…

 

Enjoy,

–Josie

HAH Hanging Man V2

THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex. 
And some handy household tips.

Signal Press – Digital eBook 

ORDER NOW,  from

Amazon.com

BarnesAndNoble.com

Also in in the Apple iBookstore!

Enter The Housewife Assassin's Handbook Contest to win free movie tickets to AMC theaters, or another theater near you! 

I'm giving away $50 in Fandango Bucks
to some lucky winner who likes thriller movies as much as romantic suspense!

CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTEST RULES…


 

 

 

 

 

 

I love watching Daniel Craig in Quantum of Solace…

No let me be very clear: I like watching Daniel Craig in ANYTHING.

Especially tight white jeans.

Or nothing.

Use your imagination.

Watch a bit of it with me:

 

 

See what I mean? 

Donna Stone is the kick-ass girlee version of Bond. 

In other words, don't piss her off. 

And heaven help you if you make her miss her kids' car pool pick up.

Enjoy an excerpt here,

–Josie

HAH Hanging Man V2

THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK
Murder. Suspense. Sex. 
And some handy household tips.

Signal Press – Digital eBook 

ORDER NOW,  from

Amazon.com

BarnesAndNoble.com

 

Did Celine Dion Names Her Twins After An American Idol?

CelineDion.jpg Okay, now seriously, how hard is it to name a baby boy or two?

You can pay homage to his grandpa; or perhaps your teen crushes (Marky-Mark? M&M? Nahhhh…)

For pop star Celine Dion and her husband, Rene Angelil, it wasn't an easy call. Seems that they struggled on what to call their two-month-old twin sons for at least a week.

In hindsight, I guess their final choices were good ones. The boys are called Nelson, and Eddy.

Which led me to a very wrong presumption: That she named them after the singer, Nelson Eddy.

For those of you who are too young to remember, Eddy was a baritone whose fame and fortune came from the many musicals he made in the 1930s and 1940s, with co-star Jeannette MacDonald. He also had super-star appeal with bobby soxers, allowing him to cross over into pop music in those decades.

Celeb watcher Lori Shewbridge set me straight (see her comment, below). She points out that, according to PopEater.com, the names are tribute of music producer Eddy Mornay, who worked on Dion's first five albums, and former president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela.

Thanks, Lori! In fact, your Li'l Ms. Know-It-All remark wins you a free copy of SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES.

Celine began her singing career at age twelve. Does she have similar tiger mother aspirations for her little guys?

If so, first she'll have to be able to tell them apart.

Or as she jokes with Oprah Winfrey's talk show tomorrow (Monday, February 21, 2011): “Rene said, ‘Listen, people are starting to call me. What's their names? I can't tell them A and B again – that's not working…It's like, ‘Was the hat switched? I thought this was Baby A'. And I'm like, ‘Stop [with] the As and the Bs. I'm going to do C [and] Ds right now. My name is Céline Dion with a C and a D, so don't push me, because I'm close to the edge!'”

We hear ya, Celine.

By the way, it doesn't get any easier. 

Wait until they both get their driver's licenses,

–Josie

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Baby Planner Low Res Don't forget to enter the contest for my novel, THE BABY PLANNER. Here's your chance to win a $100 gift card from you favorite bookstore! 

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Pregnant Moms at the Oscars: That Winning Glow

Is-Natalie-Portman-Pregnant-Golden-Globe-Awards This year, when Natalie Portman gets her shot at Oscar gold, her very visible baby bump will be there, front and center–

And swathed in some sumptious designer couture.

That ain't no OshKosh B'Gosh.

As it should be.

Portman won the Golden Globe for her terrifying performance in THE BLACK SWAN, and she's considered the frontrunner for the Best Performace by an Actress Academy Award as well. 

Even if she doesn't win, what a memorable experience she'll have, sharing this wonderful accomplishment with your soon-to-be-born child! The paparrazi will capture her pregnancy glow. The gown she chooses will have been perfectly cut to enhance her beauty (if not her bounty). She'll be able to show her child the pictures from that magical night and say, "See, honey? You were there with me, too!"

Pregnancy is no stranger to the Bald Golden Boy. Click here to trod down Oscar history's red carpeted memory lane…

 

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Don't forget to enter the contest for my novel, THE BABY PLANNER  for a chance to win a $100 gift card from you favorite bookstore! 

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Michael Jackson’s Death: A suicide? REALLY?

Michael Jackson I wasn't fond of him as a man, but I appreciated him as a performer.

If you haven't yet seen the documentary created about his rehearsals for his last tour, THIS IS IT, you're missing something spectacular. Definitely go rent it.

It's odd, though that one of the theories being floated at the hearing regarding his death was that it was a suicide. Yeah, any drug overdose can be considered a slow path to quick death, but come on already. This documentary proves he was a hard worker, a creative genius, and a consumate performer.

You can see the trailer for it below.

Feel free to comment…

But only after you moonwalk,

–Josie

 

Josie's Latest Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press

(ISBN: 9781439173176)

In bookstores now. Order it TODAY!

“Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading.” –Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives

 


 

 

Here is a clip from the documentary on how they created this scene in the show:

My relationship advice to newlyweds Katy Perry and Russell Brand

Russell-brand-katy-perry-india Omigod! Who'd have thunk it? Pop tart Katy Perry and comedian Russell Brand went out and got married!

I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.

That's okay. I probably would have gotten lost on the way there, anyway. My cell phone is too old for any GPA app, let alone one that shows some Aman-i-khas resort on the edge of the Rajasthani nature reserve.

Besides, I thoroughly understand it was a small, intimate affair: just those two crazy kids, 85 of their closest friends and family, a Hindu guru,a Christian minister, two elephants named Laxmi and Mala ("Mala is a bit skittish and hates crowds but she managed to behave herself," a source told PEOPLE), a fortune-telling parrot–

Oh yeah: and a tiger that, supposedly, has already killed three people.

I still have a wedding gift for them: a few ground rules for ensuring that their union will be one that lasts forever. Usually I'd give it to them face-to-face (you know, these things are personal) but since I wasn't invited on the honeymoon either, they'll have to read it here:

  • 1. Never go to bed angry. Talk things out first. Then do go to bed. Together. And without the parrot.
  • 2. Don't flirt with others. For Katy, that means no more kissing girls. For Russell, that means no more kissing every other girl, as he learned in sex addiction rehab. For both of them, that means no more kissing the mirror.
  • 3. Don't let your differences get in the way of a good thing. You came from such dissimilar backgrounds. With that comes some heavy baggage. Don't empty it on your spouse when you get scared that things aren't as perfect as you had hoped they'd be.
  • 4. Don't buy into the gossip. Professionally, you are both on top now. That says something about your strength of fortitude, and your ability to achieve your goals. Well, a happy marriage is a goal, too. Don't let the crap you read in the tabloids put it in a tailspin. Just keep trusting and talking.
  • 5. Don't let others get between you. This means fans, publicists, agents, managers and anyone else who wants you to believe that what you have together isn't anything more than a publicity stunt. Prove them all wrong. If not for yourselves, then for the rest of us.

 I've got a premonition about these things: this one's gonna last.

But if it doesn't, I presume I'll be invited to Katy's divorce party. If so, my gift to her will be a little more expansive, and, I'm sure, much appreciated: a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finding Mr. Right. 

To use Russell's parlance, it's my very own booky wook.

 Tah dah,

–Josie


(ISBN: 9781439173176)

In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." –Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives

 

 

GLEE Girls Gone Wild : Is the Sexy GQ Photo Shoot a Sour Note?

Gleeksters gone wild GLEE may be corny, but that's part of the fun: a bunch of high school dorks find their inner Britneys, and in the process, show the rest of the school that their too cool to be crammed into lockers.

Part of its corniness is the fact that the actors who play GLEE's leads are cute, not to mention great singers and dancers.

Oh yeah, and for the most part, they're all over twenty-one.

But do the millions of tweens and teens who watch the show realize this?

Parents have to decide that quickly–at least, before the next issue of GQ magazine hits the newstands. A media malestrom has broken out over whether GLEE castmembers Lea Michelle, Corey Monteith and Dianna Agron have the right to be on it, posing suggestively.

GQ is getting a lot of mileage out of the sensual pics. News organizations have been fed the photos and a video of the photo shoot (see below). But the response of parents–and organizations like the Parents Television Council–has run the gamut from dismay to outrage.

Although I'm a parent, I guess I should consider myself lucky. My kids are already young adults, so I can breathe a sigh of relief that the TV idols of their teen years–the gang of the original 90210–waited until they were off the show before breaking character and embarrassing producer Aaron Spelling. (Well, most of them: COUGHSHANNENDOHERTYCOUGH).

 Here's a video on the GLEE girls gone wild:

Now, take my Sunday poll and tell me what you think:

 

 Hitting a low note,

–Josie


(ISBN: 9781439173176)

In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." –Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives

Saturday Share: This captures beautifully why I love San Francisco Bay

After being away for a few weeks, it's great to be reminded of why I call the San Francisco Bay Area home. This video, by Simon Christen, does just that.

Thanks, Simon!

 

Yes, you can go home again,

–Josie


(ISBN: 9781439173176)

In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." –Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives

 

Read, Drink, Schmooze

BartSimpsonReading Despite the fact that I was nervous as all get-out I had a blast at Peg Alford Pursell's WHY THERE ARE WORDS salon.

I made new friends, and saw the faces of many pals (authors Wendy Tokanuga and Kate Perry, to name a few). It's always cool to be in a room where 80+ literati are hanging on your every word (albeit those words come out shaken and stirred — and not necessarily because of the glass  of wine you've gulped down ahead of time, for some liquid courage).*

For the most part, writers aren't natural readers (except for Joshilyn Jackson — who is also an actress. She is AWESOME, so if you get a chance to hear her read, take it). Through the years, I've grimaced through readings that sounded worse than a fifth grade book reports. The authors read too fast, too low, too embarrassed about their words.

If you write and get the opportunity to read out loud, you shouldn't be. You worked hard on your book, so read it loud, read it proud.

Your audience will be listening with bated breath.

Outspoken,

—Josie

http://twitter.com/JosieBrownCA
http://www.facebook.com/Josie.Brown.Author.Page

*

T*Thanks, Ed the Hook, for the correction!

 


  Josie's Latest Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press

(ISBN: 9781439173176)

In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." –Joan Collins, Hollywood Wives

Order today:

From Amazon

From Barnes & Noble

From Books a Million

From Borders

From Copperfield's

From Your Local Independent Bookstore

From Powell's

From Target

The official MAD MAN recap video! Enjoy!

Mad-men Amuse bouche. That's what' the French call an appetizer that teases the palate.

Well, I've got the boob tube equivalent of one, right here: A recap of last season's MAD MEN it should quickly bring you up to speed before Sunday's first episode of the new season.

I think my characters in SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES would have easily fit into Betty and Don Draper's world, had they lived some forty years ago. Which begs the question: are men and women more duplicitous now, or less? Feel free to leave your comments below.

I'm guessing that nothing has changed in the past few decades. You'll have to read my book to find out.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE RECAP VIDEO…

Hey, don't say I never gave you anything,

—Josie

http://twitter.com/JosieBrownCA

http://www.facebook.com/Josie.Brown.Author.Page


  Josie's Next Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press

(ISBN: 9781439173176)

In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it TODAY!

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." –Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives

Libraries get creative to gain your support.

BTPBanner071010

Forget the cabbage patch. I'm sure I was born  between the stacks of the Decatur (GA) Public Library. It was a great place for a prodigious reader such as myself to read, dream and learn.

I still make my home in my in my local library system — Marin County. It's where I conduct the research for my books. My children know its various branches by heart: the tall leaded windows in the soft mauve Sausalito branch, where the playground outside beckons; the Mill Valley branch, located deep in the redwoods, with its large hearth fireplace; the Corte Madera branch, with its fabulous reference department; tony Tiburon-Belvedere, with its welcoming wingback chairs and lots of quiet alcoves; the Larkspur branch, cozy and friendly, as is the San Anselmo branch, in its classic town hall. Marin City branch librarians always have welcoming smiles for their patron, and the Civic Center branch is stately and always fascinating. Fairfax reflects its community: funky, friendly and full of joy.

All libraries need a financial lift.

In fact, I've helped organize an event, happening in on September 16, 2010, 7:30pm, in Seattle: Between the Pages will benefit the Kitsap Regional Libary Foundation, which serves the islands in Seattle Bay. It takes place on Bainbridge Island (Bainbridge Performing Arts Center, 200 Madison Ave, N).

I hope you can join me, along with Pulitzer Prize winner Jane Smiley, and New York Times bestselling authors Eileen Goudge, Joshilyn Jackson, and Tatjana Soli for this wonderful event. We'll be reading from our books, and answering your questions.

In order to garner attention, libraries have to get creative, too. I like the way Brigham Young University students have taken matters into their own hands and created a great video ad that is catching on virally with us webheads. It's a spoof on the new Old Spice commercial currently on the air. Whereas it's message is why the school's library is a great place to study, the message I get is….

Yum.

Um . . . what were you saying again?

TGIF,

—Josie

http://twitter.com/JosieBrownCA

http://www.facebook.com/Josie.Brown.Author.Page




 
Josie's
Next Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press

(ISBN: 9781439173176)

 Order it
TODAY
!

"Hollywood's got nothing on
the cast of characters living in
the
bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money
and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled
observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly
entertaining reading."

Jackie
Collins
, bestselling author of Hollywood Wives

The Joy of Glee

Glee-cast I'm very happy that the television show, Glee, is leading the number of Emmy nods this year.

Yes, it's silly. And campy. And totally implausible.

But it's also well-acted and the singing is fabulous.

I know. Written like a true musical theatre geek, right? I readily and GLEEfully cop to that. I've loved musical theatre since. I was, like eight. My fabulous elementary school library (Leslie J. Steel School, Decatur, GA) had a series of books that included, by year, every Broadway musical that premiered, with words and lyrics. It took me a whole summer, but I went through them, memorizing lyrics and plots.

I was far away from Broadway, but I felt I was in the thick of it.

I fell in love with my husband, Martin, because he wooed me with show tunes. (Yes, he still does!)

Our kids not only grew up watching Disney musicals on DVD, but could sing along to BRIGADOON and MUSIC MAN and of course PETER PAN. Seriously, my son thought that Gene Kelly was his uncle. I didn't have the heart to tell him when his idol passed.

My own attempt at the Great White Way is my musical of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. I wrote the book, with lyrics and musical by the incomparable Rita Abrams. With the help of our esteemed theatrical agent, hopefully we'll eventually get there. In the meantime, click onto the link, and you can hear a song and get samples of others.

I'm of the mindset that any show on TV that makes people want to sing, dance, or smile at others who live to do so deserves an Emmy or two.

My guess is that GLEE — with its stellar cast led by Jane Lynch, Matthew Morrison and Lea Michele — will get a heckuva lot more than that.

—Josie

http://twitter.com/JosieBrownCA




Secret-Lives400w
 
Josie's
Next Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press

(ISBN: 9781439173176)

In bookstores June 1, 2010. Order it
TODAY
!

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in
the
bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money
and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled
observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly
entertaining reading."

Jackie
Collins
, bestselling author of Hollywood Wives and Poor Little Bitch Girl

Order your copy from: