Coming Soon! Housewife Assassin 20: Assassination Vacation Planner – Excerpt

HA 20 Vacation Planner v4LtLAUNCHES FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2020.
Signal Press eBook: 978-1-970093-14-8 ($4.99 US)

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Trade Paperback: 9781970093117 ($15.99 US)

The clock is ticking as housewife assassin Donna Craig  and her husband and mission partner Jack, race across the world to stop the assassinations of seven world leaders.




Sometime in the Near Future…


My legs buckle as Ryan hands me the letter. My hands are shaking so badly that it takes me forever to open it.

As I read, I hear Jack’s voice in my mind:


My Darling Donna,

If you’re reading this, it’s because I’ve made the ultimate sacrifice: for you, for our family, and for our country.

In tribute to my memory, please, dear sweet wife—dry your tears. If only in spirit, I swear to you: I am at your side, now and until we are together again.

Knowing you as well as I do, I imagine you blame yourself for the events that led up to today. I beg you—don’t. What occurred, and how, were all inevitable. It was set into motion long before we were given our mission. Situations were presented. Choices were made—by me, and me alone. It’s as simple as that.

You may hate me for having left you out of the process. Should we meet in the afterlife, I fully expect you to tell me so in your distinct and inimitable way. Getting us kicked out of Purgatory will be worth it as long as we are together, even in Hell.

( If you’re cursing me as you read this, I hope you’re doing so with a smile on your face.)

Before I get to the important stuff—that being all the ways in which I will miss you, and all the reasons I know you’ll miss me too—I have intel that is of vital importance, as  you complete the mission we began together:

First and foremost, Theodora is hiding in plain sight.

 I wish I could tell you exactly where. Since I can’t, I know you’re smart enough to figure it out before it’s too late: that is to say, before her next assassination attempt catapults the world into a cataclysmic war for no other reason than a few will profit greatly from it.

Next: from what I’ve learned, the exterminators we stopped from carrying out their missions have only emboldened Theodora’s handlers. They now have Acme in their sights. More to the point, they want to kill you, Donna. Please, dearest love of my life, do what you can to safeguard yourself and our families—both those we love at home and at work.

This brings me to my third piece of intel: the assassinations that Theodora has been tasked to carry out are the tip of the iceberg. The real end game is the economic upheaval that these deaths will cause. But specific criteria have to fall into place before the damage is done.

And, finally: Yes, Theodora brought about my untimely demise.

If revenge is in the offing, dear Donna, remember: you must stop Theodora from completing her mission before exacting any act of revenge. Please know I’ll be cheering you on from the great beyond.

Now, as I write this, I realize that no matter how much you love someone, no matter how many seconds or years you’ve shared with them, there is much left unsaid. I wish I could have said this to you, face to face. When it comes to telling someone how much they  mean to you, a note never does it justice, but I will try.

I never told you how adorable you are when you sleep.

I love how passionate you are when you're baking. I'll admit: it's always been a turn on. I watch your hands in the dough—kneading, spreading, pounding— and I think of how they’d feel on me.

Your jealousy is irritating. But to be honest, it’s flattering too.

The best thing about it: I had yet another reason to hate Carl. He made you doubt that you deserved to be loved above and beyond any other temptations. Still, Donna, you must have known you always held my heart in the palm of your hand; that even a simple glance made it beat faster—

And only for you.

I wish I'd had more time to show you all the ways I love you; to make every inch of you crave me.

Damn it, I wish I’d taken the time.

Until you came into my life, I never really knew how much I was missing.

But here's the deal: no matter how long it would have taken, I was willing to bide my time until I knew you could love me back.

I don’t know what I would have done, Donna, had my desire for you not been reciprocated. I would have had no reason to live.

I guess that would have made me a better assassin.

Thank God, you realized that before it was too late.


Hold me in your heart, always, my love.




I will, sweet Jack.

Always and forever.


As for you, Theodora: Hell hath no fury like a widow in grief.

Watch your back, bitch.


(c) 2020 Josie Brown. All rights reserved. This work is protected under copyright laws and reproduction is strictly prohibited. Permission to reproduce the material in any manner or medium must be secured from the publisher, Signal Press (

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