10 very broad hints that Sarah Jessica Parker is wearing the wrong hat…

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Ya gotta love Sarah Jessica Parker. Not only is she the consumate fashionista, she is also too often a much better actress than the roles she chooses.

Case in point: State and Main

All the more reason to wince at her latest choice in le chapeau, which she wore while wow'ing crowds down under.

Not that I'm any style maven. In fact, I've made a few fashion missteps myself. (Full disclosure: I've been known to wear shoes from different pairs. That's what happens when all your shoes are black flats.)

That said, I would counsel Ms. Parker thusly:

Dear Ms. Parker,

(Can I call you Sarah Jessica? How about SJ? …oh, never mind! How 'bout I just call you a cab?)

You know you're wearing the wrong hat when:

1. You can be mistaken for the Wicked Witch of the West.

2. You've been invited to tea by Johnny Depp — and he's dressed as the Mad Hatter.

3. Your neck starts to hurt because of it.

4. Walls jump up out of nowhere, and smack you on the nose.

5. People on the street yell out: "Gaga! Can I have your autograph?"

6. Bees mistake it for their hive.

7. Even the posh crush attending Aston is giggling and pointing.

8. It is drawing more attention to you than your latest film.

9. Your kids won't hug you because they are scared of you.

10. Your doorman gently reminds you that Halloween is over.

(c) 2011 Josie Brown. All Rights Reserved

Just sayin',

— Josie

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Housewife Couture: Dior’s Fantasy Was Not the Reality

DiorNewHousewife I love looking at my mother's photos of her in the 1950s, when she was a newlywed, albeit pre-children. In the one I'm looking at now, her hair is pulled back in an elegant chignon. At her neck is the requisite  strand of pearls. She wears fitted below-the-knee dress.

When at play, photos show her in Capri pants and crisp sleeveless blouses.

She had the figure to do it all justice.

She was a Dior housewife.

When the war ended, Rosie the Riveter gave her factory gig back to the man in her life so that he could bring him the bacon, and she could fry it up — obviously not in the couture concoction seen here.

That's okay. Labeled "The New Look" by the media, Christian Dior was selling a wonderful dream that went hand-in-glove with the white picket fence every woman supposedly craved: fitted jacket, flared skirt, chapeau perched at an appealing angle…

And the eyes of every man in sight mesmerized by the vision of you.

DiorNewLook2 It helped that the end of war meant freedom for fabrics, too, to be used in clothes that made women—well, more womanly. Out with the overalls, in with crepe or chiffon cocktail dresses, shirtwaist dresses, and the hostess apron.

Martinis and hors d'oeuvres, anyone?

Now, five decades later, I — and the rest of my restless generation — live for comfort, not luxury. This means yoga pants and hoodies. For an evening out, I up the ante to jeans, a nice top, and slouchy boots.

Obviously, I (or my wardrobe) lack my mother's elegance.

Do I blame myself, or the fashion gods?

Neither. To paraphrase Trollope, it's the way we live now.

I'll have what she's having…and make mine a double,

—Josie




SecretLives400  Josie' s Next Book: Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press

(ISBN: 9781439173176)

Look for it in bookstores June 1, 2010

From Amazon

From Barnes & Noble

From Bigger Books

From Books a Million

From Borders

From Copperfield's

From Your Local Independent Bookstore

From Powell's

Mr. Big as The DILF

504x_BAZAARMILLATWO As you know, I'm into DILFs in a big way these days (Blatant Self Promotion: My book, The DILF, hits bookstores Summer 2010). Obviously I've caught the zeitgeist (or, I guess, the economy has caught up with my plottin' and schemin'), because DILFs seem to be the new black.

Case in point: BAZAAR lives up to its name by downsizing SEX AND THE CITY's Mr. Big (Chris Noth) into a stay-at-home dad. He makes a cute DILF, doesn't he?

And needless to say, Milla Jovovich makes a stunning alpha wife. That straight fuchsia skirt is fetching, isn't it? Reminds me of my fave designer jacket of that same color, a wardrobe staple (worn with either a solid black or white skirt) when life required that I suit up.

Dems weren't the daze,

—Josie


PS: Thanks, Poppy, for the link…